…it was terrible and not funny, so I started leaving these as comments on his page about the article.
So I present you with 10 Things to Never Ever Say to a Pregnant Woman.
- "Oh, your first, defective kid needs spare parts, huh?"
- "No, I believe ‘gestating’ is the word you are looking for."
- "What’s he building in there?"
- "UNBELIEVABLE. TIME DISTORTION. SPACE IS THE PLACE, MEAN GENE OAKERLAND. GO DOWN THAT LONESOME HIGHWAY. YEEEAH. BUT DON’T BE HYPNOTIZED, NO. REINCARNATION DOESN’T HAVE TO BE, YOU CAN CONCENTRATE AND YOU CAN… MENTAL. TELEPATHY. YEEEAH. BUT THE BEAT GOES ON."
- "He tasks me. He tasks me and I shall have him! I’ll chase him ‘round the moons of Nibia and ‘round the Antares Maelstrom and ‘round perdition’s flames before I give him up!"
- "Bet you can’t wait till that thing start pissing, shitting, and puking on everything you hold sacred."
- "How hard do you want me to punch you in the stomach?"
- "So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin’ with Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That’s why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it’s absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that, uh, that Sicilians still carry that nigger gene.”
- "Be sure to check out my new website."
- "So, are you at the stage where we would be considered a menage au trois?"
Whenever anyone ever uses the term “baby boomers” my mind inserts “junky fucks” as a replacement.
I’m glad to find my biases are scientifically backed.
Lozupone-Tortelli-LeBec Progeny ~ Ludlow Tortelli
"He didn’t go willingly, I had to trick him. I used the old ‘going to the library but running out of gas in front of the ball park’ routine." ~ Carla
"I know you love your kids… like your kids… have kids…" ~ Norm
Randy “Macho Man” Savage
singer/songwriter/shoeshine man Elliott Smith
he’s brushing the fur on the fuzzy slippers
fuzzy slippers need shining too gosh
I will never forget my friend Amelia’s perfect Elliot Smith Halloween costume.
SPACE IS THE PLACE.
I guess it IS Gwen’s Day already…
1906 Map of Los Angeles Light Rail Lines
110 years later, we’re still decades away from this kind of amazing service…
Someone brought Gaston five dozen eggs.
This is magical.I just want to know how the security cast member reacted when he saw 5 dozen eggs while performing a routine bag check.